Being born as a sea urchin sounds exotic until you realize it’s basically just a life of spiky suffering. First off, you don’t get a face. No eyes. No brain. No arms. You’re basically a confused pin cushion trying to survive in a world full of things that want to eat you or accidentally step on you.

Your whole defense system is just... existing painfully. You can’t run, you can’t hide, and your main personality trait is "sharp." And reproduction? It’s just you and millions of others chucking your stuff into the ocean at the same time and hoping for the best. Romantic.

Why It Sucks to Be Born as a Sea Urchin